R.I.P Amy

It is amazing that the death of a celebrity can bring out some negative and vile comments from people, the broadcast messages on blackberry messenger, the facebook status’ and the tweets, are all shocking.

Amy Jade Winehouse, born September 14, 1983, exploded onto the UK music scene in 2003 with her debut album, Frank, which was nominated for the Mercury Prize, after many successful gigs and festivals and an Ivor Novello songwriting award for "Stronger Than Me", she began work on the album that would make her an international star: Back to Black, released in 2007 led to six Grammy Award nominations and five wins, two more Ivor Novello songwriting award in 2007 for Best Contemporary Song for "Rehab", and one in 2008 for Best Song Musically and Lyrically for "Love Is a Losing Game", she also won a BRIT Award for Best British Female Artist.

Amy Winehouse body was discovered 3:54pm 23^rd of July and by 5:00pm the internet was buzzing, some fans expressing their true condolences, others was comparing Amy Winehouse death to the Norway tragedy. There were complaints that people should not ‘mourn the selfish’ and that Amy Winehouse made a lifestyle choice, in comparison to those murdered in Norway she had control of her fate.

Both the Norway murders and Amy Winehouse death are sad, I must admit, I was effected more by Amy Winehouse death, I know her face,  and through the media I  know of her family, mum Janis, dad Mitch, and her Goddaughter Dionne, those she left behind, the more details you know about a person, the more you are able to emphasise in my opinion. 

Following the success of Back to Black, Amy toured the world, and began a star-crossed relationship with a former video-production assistant named Blake Fielder-Civil. Around the same time, several media outlets began reporting extensively on the couple's drug use and, in 2008, Blake served time in prison after an altercation with a bar owner. Blake, is currently serving a 32-month sentence for burglary and firearms offences. Yesterday his fiancee Sarah Aspin, the mother of his baby, was allowed to visit him on compassionate grounds. Afterwards Sarah, said: ‘He is inconsolable, devastated. They were soulmates’

Day in and day out many of us wish for Amy Winehouse success or the rich and famous lifestyle, she had everything is what some people may say, but she did not have happiness, she was such a lost soul, so lost that she clearly was not happy living, this is a tragedy that someone so talented, can be so unhappy beyond repair, this is almost as sad as the fact that mere human beings, believe they have the right to judge another human with such critic.

'Let Him Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone'

Untitled

My Granddad has dementia, this is the first time I have even admitted this, I have heard people say it around me but I can not accept it, my grandfather the most intelligent man I know, now doesn’t know the name of the heater.

Dementia may be caused by a number of illnesses that affect the brain. Dementia typically leads to memory loss, inability to do everyday things, difficulty in communication, confusion, frustration, as well as personality and behaviour changes. People with dementia may also develop behavioural and psychological symptoms such as depression, aggression and wandering.

It is sad to see someone dying slowly in front of you, especially sad when they look so healthy in the face and body, and nothing is wrong with them, it seems on appearance, but on further examination, you realise his spirit is not the same, this is not my granddad he is only half here, where is the rest? 

I’ve been asking myself over and over ‘Do I feel sorry for my Granddad?’ and I think about alot of things,

Yes my granddad has had a happy life, and he has accomplished so much, I am proud of him, but has he done everything?

Symptoms of dementia 

• Memory loss, particularly of recent events. 
• Problems finding the right words.
• Disorientated.
• Poor judgement.
• Withdrawn, prone to fits of temper, or feel anxious and depressed.
• Trouble thinking clearly and doing easy practical tasks.
   

 I am happy my granddad is still with us, but it pains me in my heart to know that someone so mind strong, full of intelligent opinions and worldly knowledge, does not know my name.  

Can-Fly

So ... my twitter is getting a lot of attention, as well as my blog, and a few people have requested I join various teams ..... but I am very happy and excited to be a part of CAN FLY not only do I love the name, But I actually am a fan of my partners writing, and writing style.

So for those that like Grime … I hope we do not disappoint, you can find our work EXCLUSIVELY on http://startheory.blogspot.com/

 

Can-Fly is the creative union of two female writers, who are passionate about Grime music. Never shy of controversy and as original 140 Grime Street residents, they bring you the latest in news and entertainment.

*Disclaimer: your participation at such heights may cause dizziness but we do hope you enjoy the flight mwah*

Skepta is ‘Doin it Right’

Can - Fly

Skepta released Doin' It Again on the 31^st January with some excellent singles with impressive features like Preeya Kalidas, and P Diddy  to name a few. Doin it Again spent 3 weeks in the top 100 album charts and debuted and peaked at number 19 on its first week of release. This year is just following the success that the end of 2010 bought Mr Adenuga, so what’s hot with Skepta right now??

WELL WELL WELL its seems that Skeptas latest released video, for his song “All over the house” is the talk of the town, or twitter at the very least. The video is staring a lady who goes by the name Paris Rocks and if you have not heard of her before now, she is a UK based porn star and to quote Paris herself  'I'm a professional cock sucker and ALWAYS finish with a facial!', now before you get all excited like me and think Skepta plays the male role, let me just tell you now sadly he stays fully clothed throughout the video, and the male role is played by Sensi.

 I loved ‘’All over the house’’ as soon as i heard the song, and I think he done the song justice with this video. The song talks about a sexual encounter with Skepta and his partner, where ‘They had sex all of the house’ 

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE: OVER 18’S ONLY : www.parisrocksxxx.com/skepta.

So i pretty much doubt this video meets watershed requirements and I doubt any music station will play the video, as it is not just naked bodies, this is full blown sexual intercourse and cunnilingus. So why did Skepta do it....?

One can speculate that he wanted a buzz around his name and the song, maybe he just wanted to help out Paris Rocks, but there is one question I want answered. Skepta has spoken in the past about his mother having an active interest in his music, I’d love to know what her thoughts on the video are, infact I wonder what Jamie, Julie, Jason and Mr Adenuga all think.

For her role in the video the female porn star has received a barrage of abuse via her Twitter account - @Parisrocksxxx. She expressed her frustration in one tweet claiming she didnt know how people dealt with all the haters on the social networking site.

Most people who had something negative to say on Twitter did not mention anything about her male co-host, Sensi, which comes as no surprise to me, after all our society is fuelled with double standards.

Also many of the abusive tweets were coming from females themselves, one said ‘that Paris Rocks is a right slut’.

So a man features in a porno and no one batters an eyelid, whilst the woman who features gets called a hoe, slut, and publicly ridiculed for what is just a day’s work in her chosen profession.

I’m not judging Paris for her chosen line of work and no one else has the right to, its her choice and it was an act that took place between two consenting adults, might I also add that it was a safe sex act at that.

Now shout out to those females quick to judge another, when behind closed doors you’re indulging in un-protected sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes your way - so really who’s the hoe now?

Buy Skeptas album here: “Doing it again” http://www.doinitagain.co.uk

Political Correctness gone too far

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is a book by Mark Twain, considered as one of the Great American Novels, it tells the story of a boys journey down the Mississippi River between 1835 and 1845, the novel is set in a racist society and the boy learns to reject that racism.

The new edition of Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is causing controversy because of the removal of racially offensive words, the new edition replaces the word “nigger” with "slave" and "injun" to "Indian".

Dr Sarah Churchwell, a lecturer on American literature, told the BBC that it made a mockery of the story.

"It's about a boy growing up a racist in a racist society who learns to reject that racism, and it makes no sense if the book isn't racist," she told BBC World Service's Newshour programme. "You can't make the history of racism in America go away." (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12126700)

"the difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter"

Those are Mark Twain words himself, he spoke about the change to any words in his literature before it even happened, this quote states that every word he has written was for a specific reason and obviously this worked for his book to be recognised as one the Great American Novels.

This is when POLITICAL CORRECTNESS becomes the enemy, you cannot change AMERICAN HISTORY and as a black woman you cannot change BLACK HISTORY and as a lover of great literature, you cannot change great literature.

  

Where will it stop? Huckleberry Finn has been a trending topic on twitter worldwide for two days, here are just a few of the tweets I want to share:


While we're changing Huckleberry Finn, let's put a better smile on the Mona Lisa and castrate Michelangelo's David. @zachbussey

Welcome to the Brave New World. Where even Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is too much truth @AuthorNancyKell

They're "retooling" Huckleberry Finn and phasing out the "N" word? Outstanding. . . Can someone start "retooling" rap? @danof89  

'Cause I will never be content with being your back door hoe.'

 

The internet is an amazing tool, I was bored and randomly searching the internet when I came across a poet, I read one poem and fell in love with her instantly her name is Alysia Harris.

Follow Alysia on twitter @Poppyinthewheat

The Poem I read is called ‘That Girl’ and it is below

We got that waiting in the clinic silence.

That shhh don’t tell nobody what we did silence

and Im so tired of being your hamper that

I’m about to dump out those week old stained ketchup secrets and do laundry in that silence

You like keeping it quiet.

But my vagina is not your walk in closet.

You wanna stuff your unmentionables through me,

Wanna place to hang up your insecurities,

Want me to keep check of your hand me downs and Prada,

Waiting for every occasion to put me back behind closed doors and lock me in the darkness.

Nobody knows you hold my hand

And nobody knows I call you baby

And nobody know you write anonymous poems about me the type you can’t post on Facebook.

Because regardless of what you may think I’m worth or what you may think I deserve,

I will never be that girl,

The girl that’s only allowed to make you smile when she´s making you orgasm,

that girl whose day job is daydreaming waiting for her night job.

That girl who´s so in love she will turn her body over for your superficial touch.

You hide me behind lock doors and bed sheets because if you dare reached out

Then everybody would still know that it was still about me.

So that in your heart and in your mind your still wrapped up in me.

My teardrops you own them,

My hearts strings you got them tied around your pencils and fingers.

Yea, you may say it´s over

And you may never tell me that you love me

But you don’t have to cause your silence speaks volume.

You wanna hold me in your arms rock me to sleep then act like you don’t know me.

As if the moments we spent together are some kind of down payment.

As if my bedroom were lay away

And that’s all you ever do is layaway

Pull up beside me but in the morning pull up the hoodie and run the other way.

I’m like that bastard child

The reason Daddy never stuck around in the first place

But for me rejection doesn´t come every other weekend..

It comes when you lower your head and pass by without speaking

And I remember there was a time you could barely take your eyes off me.

I just don’t understand why its not okay for you to love me.

I guess you just want me to be that girl.

The girl everybody wants to sleep with but nobody wants to be with.

That girl

Only good enough for finding a suitable replacement.

And not trying to make up for the mistake

But you try to convince yourself that she means everything and you want nothing to do with me

But come on baby she looks just like me!

Read the signs or at least the facial features

Cause I was your first, your only,

The prototype and she´s just a duplicate

And you can never make copies without first consulting the blueprint!

You know what they say the sequel is never better than the original.

And she tries to write you stories but you know they’re only half as good,

So half squinting you only hold her half as tight as you should.

Cause your other half is tangled between my bed sheets,

And your other half is complete within my mind, soul, and body,

And your other half is french tonguing me Monday through Friday.

I’m not fighting for joint custody.

I’m fighting for RESPECT

Cause I will never be content with being your back door hoe.

Your something on the side,

Your something to do on those lonely weekends,

Your closet freak.

You will never produce me to be a skank and a whore that will love you.

I’d rather spend every night crying alone on my bedroom floor than to ever be “that girl”!

What can you do when saying sorry is not enough?

I am full of emotions as I write this post,

My eyes are welled up with tears,

I know what has initiated these feelings 

And it comes from a place deep with fears.

There is no one I can hold responsible

For making me feel this way

So I am blaming the word ‘sorry’

But what else can you say?

I am not a poet, but as my hands hovered over the lappy keyboard, those words just flowed, and it’s exactly how I feel.

This year I have heard sorry and I have said sorry, when sorry was not enough, when you really are sorry the most, it matters the least, why is that ?

‘I am sorry I lost your keys/I am sorry I was late’

These are cases when the word sorry is acceptable, and it does just what it is suppose to. 

I am sorry for your loss 

I am sorry I had sex with your boyfriend

This is when these apologise should count, but yet that word means very little in these circumstance.

I started this post frustrated at the word sorry, because it is no comfort, at desperate times, not even from the most sincere heart, but once I have calmed down, and saw sense and was not ruled by my emotions but my brain I remembered. 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

‘It takes a great man, to replace no man’

So let me get the pleasantries out of the way first

May this new year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.

It’s the New Year and I am …. Still … single ….boohoo am I bothered NO! … I am so happy with, my life right now, the thought of having to cater to someone sounds more like a burden to me, I have an active social life,  I am traveling and I am just living my life at my pace … I don’t want no man to slow me down.

Apparently when you don’t need a man that’s when you are ready to have one, so when you feel complete by yourself and you don’t need a man to complete you, this makes perfect sense.

I do know that if a guy does manage to pin me down, he will have to be a GREAT MAN! 

If  i was happy to be with ANYMAN ... or a WASTEMAN ... this is just reflection of how I view myself and what I think I am worth ... so I am happy to say Iam waiting for a GREAT MAN.

 

''The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

for·give  (fr-gv, fôr-)

v.tr.

1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.

2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

Forgiveness should not be confused with ignoring or forgetting, because that is the cowards way of dealing with problems  …  when someone you care about hurts you, it is normal to be angry, and have thoughts of revenge, in the initial stages … but to not grow and move on from these hate feelings is not moving forward.

Forgiveness does not mean that your relationship with that person will be the same again, and it does not mean that you have excused the betrayal. Forgiveness means that you have accepted that persons actions, your opinions on that person may change, or maybe an opinion was confirmed. 

Some people are able to resume relationships where they left off, before everything changed. I personally go by this quote

‘Once bitten, twice shy’

The second chance thing never really works for me because you will never have the whole me, I will always keep something back, and the difference in relationship is very visible.

Being able to forgive does feel good, most of 2010, I was angry, and felt deeply betrayed, but I was able to turn a negative into a positive. I have learned to not expect too much from humans, because at the end of the day we are all humans, and humans make mistakes.

This experience has also made me less naïve, just because I would take the shirt of my back for you, I should not expect the same back.  I do look in Bellas face and think ... ‘you had sex with Edward’ but I like that it’s a reality to check to not get to comfortable.

I do actually feel better now that I have forgiven her, but forgiveness or to forgive her was never forced on me none of my friends encouraged it, or was pessimistic about it, it was just something that came natural over time, and a lot of thinking.  

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it is not excusing evil, tolerating abuse or smothering pain. On the contrary, forgiveness is the trait of the brave; faced with evil they look straight in the face of evil, call it what it is and while consciously aware of the terror and sting of the evil they deliberately choose to overcome evil with good.

By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
Saint Leigh 

One should rather die than be betrayed......

                .... This will only sound dramatic to anyone who has not been betrayed.  I only met betrayal in 2010, and it taught me a big ... massive.... huge ....lesson!  There is always something to learn with every situation you are faced with good or bad.

               

                The Betrayal of 2010.... Well well well where do I even start, I have had boyfriends that have cheated on me, I have had friends that have lied and stolen from me, I have been disappointed by family, and nothing compares to the Betrayal of 2010.

                She was a friend of mine, someone I trusted with secrets and fears, anything I could do for her, I would ... I am like that I love someone wholly. I think my friends are lucky to have me as a friend I am a good one! (They would agree honest)

                Ok lets call my friend Bella, me and Bella had not known each other long, but we got on really well. There was some characteristics that was shady but no one is perfect, not even me. ! My Ex boyfriend of 5 years his name is Edward. .. Edward and I had a rocky on and off relationship, and I was dating someone new, his name is Jacob.

                So Bella had sex with Edward, fell pregnant and had an abortion, she told Jacob because she wanted to tell me, but didn’t know how to. But while she was telling Jacob she also told him things that I had told her, secrets between girls. Bella also told Jacob lies about me, she was jealous, she destroyed any potential relationship that I had with Jacob.  Jacob felt bad but he had no other choice than to confront me with these truths and lies, he asked me to not tell Bella, but I couldn’t the day he told me I remember I was so angry I wanted to kill her ... seriously end her life. Not only has she slept with the love of my life, who I had decided I could not be with and it was time to move on, she had deliberately sabotaged the only man I thought I could be happy with.

                So this stab in the back felt just like that, no actually it felt like stab wounds all over ...  I never saw this coming, and I didn’t know how to deal with this pain, I shut down. I stopped talking to a lot of friends and kept my circle very tight.

                I  was not mad at Edward and I was not mad at Bella for having sex with Edward and conceiving his child, even though this would be enough for some girls, I was angry because she saw me happy with Jacob, I told her he was someone I could marry have children with. Jacob was a good man who inspired me to want more in life and from life. I had never met anyone like him, and she ended it with her vicious tongue.

                So The Betray 2010, got me and it got me well ‘One should rather die than be betrayed, there is no deceit in death it delivers precisely what it had promised, Betrayal though,  betrayal is the wilful slaughter of hope’

I am happy to say I have two friends Angel and Deena, I love them dearly. If I did not have these friends, I would have given up on the concept of friendship, furthermore I don’t believe in friends any more, Angel and Deena are my family. When one of us is happy we are all happy and when one of us is sad we are all sad.

Saint Leigh