''The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

for·give  (fr-gv, fôr-)

v.tr.

1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.

2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

Forgiveness should not be confused with ignoring or forgetting, because that is the cowards way of dealing with problems  …  when someone you care about hurts you, it is normal to be angry, and have thoughts of revenge, in the initial stages … but to not grow and move on from these hate feelings is not moving forward.

Forgiveness does not mean that your relationship with that person will be the same again, and it does not mean that you have excused the betrayal. Forgiveness means that you have accepted that persons actions, your opinions on that person may change, or maybe an opinion was confirmed. 

Some people are able to resume relationships where they left off, before everything changed. I personally go by this quote

‘Once bitten, twice shy’

The second chance thing never really works for me because you will never have the whole me, I will always keep something back, and the difference in relationship is very visible.

Being able to forgive does feel good, most of 2010, I was angry, and felt deeply betrayed, but I was able to turn a negative into a positive. I have learned to not expect too much from humans, because at the end of the day we are all humans, and humans make mistakes.

This experience has also made me less naïve, just because I would take the shirt of my back for you, I should not expect the same back.  I do look in Bellas face and think ... ‘you had sex with Edward’ but I like that it’s a reality to check to not get to comfortable.

I do actually feel better now that I have forgiven her, but forgiveness or to forgive her was never forced on me none of my friends encouraged it, or was pessimistic about it, it was just something that came natural over time, and a lot of thinking.  

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it is not excusing evil, tolerating abuse or smothering pain. On the contrary, forgiveness is the trait of the brave; faced with evil they look straight in the face of evil, call it what it is and while consciously aware of the terror and sting of the evil they deliberately choose to overcome evil with good.

By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
Saint Leigh 

One should rather die than be betrayed......

                .... This will only sound dramatic to anyone who has not been betrayed.  I only met betrayal in 2010, and it taught me a big ... massive.... huge ....lesson!  There is always something to learn with every situation you are faced with good or bad.

               

                The Betrayal of 2010.... Well well well where do I even start, I have had boyfriends that have cheated on me, I have had friends that have lied and stolen from me, I have been disappointed by family, and nothing compares to the Betrayal of 2010.

                She was a friend of mine, someone I trusted with secrets and fears, anything I could do for her, I would ... I am like that I love someone wholly. I think my friends are lucky to have me as a friend I am a good one! (They would agree honest)

                Ok lets call my friend Bella, me and Bella had not known each other long, but we got on really well. There was some characteristics that was shady but no one is perfect, not even me. ! My Ex boyfriend of 5 years his name is Edward. .. Edward and I had a rocky on and off relationship, and I was dating someone new, his name is Jacob.

                So Bella had sex with Edward, fell pregnant and had an abortion, she told Jacob because she wanted to tell me, but didn’t know how to. But while she was telling Jacob she also told him things that I had told her, secrets between girls. Bella also told Jacob lies about me, she was jealous, she destroyed any potential relationship that I had with Jacob.  Jacob felt bad but he had no other choice than to confront me with these truths and lies, he asked me to not tell Bella, but I couldn’t the day he told me I remember I was so angry I wanted to kill her ... seriously end her life. Not only has she slept with the love of my life, who I had decided I could not be with and it was time to move on, she had deliberately sabotaged the only man I thought I could be happy with.

                So this stab in the back felt just like that, no actually it felt like stab wounds all over ...  I never saw this coming, and I didn’t know how to deal with this pain, I shut down. I stopped talking to a lot of friends and kept my circle very tight.

                I  was not mad at Edward and I was not mad at Bella for having sex with Edward and conceiving his child, even though this would be enough for some girls, I was angry because she saw me happy with Jacob, I told her he was someone I could marry have children with. Jacob was a good man who inspired me to want more in life and from life. I had never met anyone like him, and she ended it with her vicious tongue.

                So The Betray 2010, got me and it got me well ‘One should rather die than be betrayed, there is no deceit in death it delivers precisely what it had promised, Betrayal though,  betrayal is the wilful slaughter of hope’

I am happy to say I have two friends Angel and Deena, I love them dearly. If I did not have these friends, I would have given up on the concept of friendship, furthermore I don’t believe in friends any more, Angel and Deena are my family. When one of us is happy we are all happy and when one of us is sad we are all sad.

Saint Leigh